I have reason to do a little reflecting today… in a couple of days I will be sharing a few thoughts about choosing friends, taking care of friendships and making memories with friends.  I believe these thoughts are worth sharing with you also…

Proverbs 12:26 tells us that “The righteous chose their friends carefully…” Now I don’t think it really matters who the “righteous” are at this stage… we all need to chose our friends carefully! Friends are those folk who will help you in times of need, uplift you when you’re feeling down, have fun and enjoy the good times, and encourage you with a word in season.  To chose a friend carefully, one needs to look, not so much as where they have been, but the direction in which they are heading. We have all made mistakes in life – it’s what we learn from these mistakes that is important.  Are your friends moving on, overcoming past handicaps, blunders and failures? Do you share common beliefs and interests? Are you comfortable in their presence without needing to fill every space with words?

My “old” friendships were formed in the pre-digital era so I don’t have photos to upload but this is one of the holiday destinations where many memories were created.

I think of my close friends – daily, weekly, monthly or even six-monthly communication is not relevant – it’s what we share whenever we do have contact that is important.  Once, a few years ago, we lived in the same city.  Now we are spread all over New Zealand – none of these “old” friends living in the city in which I live.  But, because we established such close bonds when we were in close proximity, we have many memories to reflect on and a solid base on which our friendships are grounded.

There have been many more friends who have come and gone, and with the advent of social media, some of these have been re-ignited to a degree – and I am thankful for that contact. But some friends are “special” because of memories and times spent together…

But how are such bonds formed? It is by sharing the good times, caring during the not-so-good times and creating memories.  Several years ago when a birthday of one of three close single-mum friends and me had to be celebrated the non-birthday friends arranged a surprise – tea in a park, a ride in a Tuk-tuk (small motorised cart), “letter” party, mystery destination for tea, cryptic dinner… with four birthday surprises each year the imagination was stretched over the years and we had other folk coming to us looking for ideas! When one of our four single mums was turned down for a job because she apparently didn’t like men we consoled her by throwing a “battered women” afternoon tea where we dressed up as jilted brides.  Probably not at all “PC” but we lifted this friend out of her misery.  Our children still talk of the holidays we shared and the camping trips we embarked on.

Many years later, with children all having children of their own now, these memories are to be treasured … but if you are “young”, seeking new friendships, looking for lasting relationships, do seek wisely and consider …